Motherhood

I have a passion for motherhood. Even as a young child I can remember that being my sole desire for adulthood. This passion was not born out of having a wonderful example in my life but like many passions that develop it was born out of a lack in my heart.
I was a "surprise" child born into a very Irish Catholic family; my mother was 39 yrs old and a working woman. This was during the time when woman were always homemakers and children were born in their youth. I had an older sister and brother who were blessed to have our mother at home while they were young. As a child, I never understood the whys behind my mom's needing to work and it was truly a need. There were many friends around me who had their moms home so I did witness many normal relationships; I just didn't have one. My mom was not in the best of health and by the time she got home from work each day, she simply did not have the energy or patience to deal with a active child. My dad worked in a grocery store and his hours meant he was often out of the house in the evenings, thus leaving the burden of caring for me on my mom. My moms' parents both died while she was young so she didn't have a strong example of mothering either. During this era mother-daughter relationships were not like they are today. Mom and I were never close; I resented her working and I was alone so much I resented not having siblings to play with. As I got older, I went through years of rebellion with my mom but my dad and I were extremely close. My mom tried her hardest with me and one of my biggest regrets over the years was that I did not treat her with honor.
When I was 21 my mom suddenly had a stroke which led to her death. I can honestly say it took me many long years, probably ten, to work through the complexity of our relationship and repent of my sins against my mom. When I came to Christ many years ago, I realized for the first time that He was using my childhood to make me into the mom I am today-and back then it was quite a bit of work He had to do. I truly missed the closeness that I saw other mothers and daughters share and I poured myself into my daughters, working on that relationship with them.
Throughout my married life I have been so blessed but having such a tight bond of friendship with my two girls. If there is one thing I could pass on to others it would be to cultivate those family relationships whether it is mother-daughter, mother-son, father-mother, sister-sister, sister-brother, brother-brother. It is easy to get caught up in the business of life and have surface relationships with others but having a deep bond will bless you. Share what's on your heart on a regular basis, be it your hopes and dreams, or trials and concerns. Open your heart to those you love for you never know when you might not have the chance again. There were so many things I wish my mom and I could have shared and I didn't have that chance.
When my girls were in high school, a homeschooling family that we knew experienced a tragedy that impacted our family. The mother and daughter were having a disagreement about something and although they were very close the daughter left for her job without saying goodbye and giving her mom a hug. On the way to work that summer day her little VW bug was hit and run over by a Costco truck, instantly killing the teen. The shock waves rippled through our community and the grief for that mom. She would never have the opportunity to hug her daughter again and say I love you. That summer day my family and I began a simple ritual that has become a pattern for life-whether in person or on the phone when we are saying goodbye we always tell the other that we loved them. I am so much richer by the lives of my girls; they are my best friends.
Is there a relationship that needs the balm of the Lord on it today? Prayerfully consider how you might reach out to that loved one, even if it is just in prayer.
Blessings on your heart today.

Blessed Assurance

As we enter into a new day, a day that will possibly change our country as we know it, I reflected on times in my own life when there was only one thing to hold onto. That one thing was the certainty that God was in control~yesterday,today and forever.
In 1989 I lived in Cupertino Ca. and one October day my life was changed in an instant. We experienced the Loma Prieta earthquake. Although I was a California girl and had lived with earthquakes my entire life, this one was a major quake. I got through it but experienced what doctors call Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I know that the anxiety I experienced was nothing compared to what our Vets go through after serving our country in war but any unexpected vibrations of the floor or loud noise panicked me. The only thing I can say that gave me comfort, I found in the Word of the Lord. Here was my verse from that time:
"God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change,
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns." Psalm 46:1-5

Many years later, after our girls were raised and adults I went back to work at a bank. One Saturday our bank was robbed and I was the one who was held up. It was very traumatic for me and for the remaining years I worked there I would be working during two more robberies.
Again, the Lord graciously gave me comfort in His Word. Here is the verse from that time frame.

"I have set the Lord continually before me; Because He is at my right hand I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will dwell securely." Psalm 16:8,9

As I pondered the magnitude of today's inauguration this song of old came to me again reassuring me that God is on the Throne.
Blessed Assurance
Blessed Assurance Jesus is Mine!
O what a foretaste of Glory divine!
Heir of salvation purchased of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.

Written by a blind gal named Fanny J. Crosby in 1873

There is so much uncertainty in our world today; many are facing life threatening health issues, many are facing great losses due to our troubled economy while others still face situations that seem helpless. You, dear reader, may be facing the greatest trial in your life but take heart there is One who longs to help you~all you need to do is cry out to Him this day to save you. He is Faithful, He is trustworthy, He is merciful, His grace in new every morning and if you cry out to Him He will help you for He alone is able to save you. His name is Jesus; run to Him for He is waiting with His arms opened wide. He loves you so much He died for you.

A Windy January Day

Blessings to you dear friends. The month has flown by; it's hard to believe we only have two weeks left. We have been enjoying the beauty of bright, clear sunny days with lots of wind. It looks like spring but in reality, spring is a long way off. Years ago when some friends moved from California to Colorado I remember them telling us they experienced a lot more wind than we ever had in California. I can testify to that! Anyway, I'm dreaming of spring time and planting trees, flowers and herbs with possibly some vegetables. Of course we haven't found a house yet but it never hurts to look towards the future. The last number of years we were in California I worked full time and just didn't have the energy or time for a garden. Now that we are retired I can't wait.
So today my oldest daughter, her hubby,their gang, my hubby and I went over to our local park to fly kites. I thought it would be so much fun and daughter and I both took our cameras.
No sooner had my dear hubby gotten our kite out of the car when it took off~and proceeded to break away from the string and blow through the parking lot into the bushes. So much for flying kites and getting pictures-it is much to windy for that.
How is your weather today? Are you enjoying it's beauty, whether it is snowy, icy, bleak or bright and sunny? We all have been blessed with the Hand of God creating a magnificent handiwork for us~so take time today to enjoy, even if it is from inside looking out.

Forsaking All

A dear friend lent me a book this week by author William MacDONALD and although at first it seemed rudimentary there is deep truth in the pages. I may have read it years ago but it isn't striking a bell with me so I'm now using it in my quiet time. I have just started it but look forward to reading through it and gleaning truth, meditating on it and applying it to this simple heart.

Two such prayers that I hope to really study today and glean depth from are below; may they bless your heart as well.

"Lord, let me have no will of my own or consider my true happiness as depending in the smallest degree on anything that can befall me outwardly, but as consisting altogether in conformity to Thy Will". Henry Martyn

"Father, let me be weak that I might lose my clutch on everything temporal. My life, my reputation, my possessions, Lord, let me loose the tension of the grasping hand. Even, Father, would I lose the love fondling. How often I have release a grasp only to retain what I prized by "harmless" longing, the fondling touch. Rather, open my hand to receive the nail of Calvary, as Christ's was opened, that I, releasing all, might be released, unleashed from all that binds me now. He thought Heaven, yea, equality with God, not a thing to be clutched at. So let me release my grasp." Jim Elliot

Wow, that prayer by Jim Elliot was answered in his death at the hand of a primitive people; taken while bringing the gospel to them.

These are not prayers easily spoken and quickly uttered but ones that cost the most-and render the greatest reward.

Grounding and Growing

When I was a young wife and mom, a new christian and a woman hungering for friendship I joined a woman's bible study at our church. The studies occurred every Thursday morning from nine to noon throughout the school year. The first part of the morning the pastor taught on one particular book of the bible, then we'd break for coffee and snacks and from 10:30 to 12:00 individual classes geared at teaching skills pertinent to keeping a home were given. As I recall there were at least 2 dozen classes ranging in topics such as knitting, quilting, cookie, arts and crafts, bread baking etc.
One year I signed up for Grounding and Growing, foolishly thinking it had to do with gardening. A close friend and I took the class and there were only three of us in this group. This was a fairly large church and class size often was in the 10-20's. We found out quickly that it wasn't on gardening, except in gardening our souls. The focus was entirely spiritual and taught memorization, study habits for time in the Word and prayer. The years I attended this church were wonderful times spent with gals who were mature Christians and gals like me that had a hunger and thirst for righteousness. I remember how I missed the classes during summer but many of us would get together for park days once a week to continue building the fellowship.
I was blessed to be surrounded by godly women who gently took me under their wings to teach and lead me. These are such sweet memories for me and also my first friends who homeschooled. I think my life and my daughter's lives would have been totally different if it wasn't for this special group of sisters that nurtured me. It has been a very long time since I've heard from most of them; one I still keep in contact with and she and her hubby are dear friends of ours. Most of us moved out of the area and made new bonds of friendships but these ladies will always hold a special place in my heart. I look forward to seeing them in Glory and joining them as we lift praises to our King. Who is your someone special that has impacted your life for Christ? Are you still in contact with her? If so, write, call or reach out and give her a hug today just to let her know how much she means to you.
Blessings.

Thankful Thursday

Hello dear friends, I can't believe it's Thursday all ready~how the days fly by.
Many of you have followed the ongoing health issue of my granddaughter we call Peanut-our little Mackenzie. This week their entire family drove down to Children's Hospital and met with the doctor that performed all of Peanut's tests in December. I know daughter and her hubby were so thankful to meet with the doctor and try to ascertain the best course of action for their little girl.
Mackenzie is now almost two and has had health issues from the age of 5 mos. She suffers from GERD, commonly known as Acid Reflux disease and with that comes another condition called Sensory Processing Disorder.
Many prayers have gone up for little Mackenzie and she is the sweetest little girl; we say she's little because she is very small for her age.
The results of the tests came back and we are pleased that there were no life threatening issues.
God is so good! Having said that our little one continues to have issues with losing weight and eating problems. The tests indicated she does not have Celiac disease so that was also good news.
Mama will now have to enroll her in an Eating clinic so she can learn how to eat better. That sounds so funny to me, to have to teach a child to eat but when you've had GERD and sensory issues eating does not happen naturally. I told my girl I was more than willing to give up some of my fat for little Mackenzie but unfortunately it doesn't work like that. Someday, when all is said and done, we will all look back on this and smile but right now it has been a long journey Kim and their family have walked through. It isn't over, in fact probably means one more day per week that they will have to schedule appointments with therapists etc but we are so thankful that
Mackenzie is not seriously ill. Now if we could just fatten her up a bit.
So to all who have prayed for her, thank you can't even begin to cover the gratitude I have for you in my heart. May you be richly blessed!

Stick-Together Families

One of my closest friends over the years has been a constant inspiration to me. She has nine children and homeschooled them all. Although she now lives several states away and I haven't seen her for a number of years, we are bound by the heart. She sent me this poem that one of her children found in a homeschool reader. I love the sentiment it evokes.

Stick-Together Families

The stick-together families

Are happier by far

Than the brothers and sisters

Who take separate highways are;

The gladdest people living

Are the wholesome folks who make

A circle at the fireside

That no power but death can break,

And the finest of conventions

Ever held beneath the sun,

Are the little family gatherings

When busy days are done.

There are some who seem to fancy

That for gladness they must roam,

That for smiles that are the brightest,

They must wander far from home.

That a strange friend is a true friend,

And they travel far astray,

And they waste their lives in striving

For a joy that’s far away.

But the gladdest sort of people

When the busy day is done,

Are the brothers and the sisters

Who together share their fun.

It’s the stick-together family

That wins the joy of earth,

That hears the sweetest music

And finds the finest mirth.

It’s the old home roof that shelters

All the charm that life can give,

And oh, weary wandering brother,

If contentment you would win,

Come you back into the fireside,

And be comrade with your kin.

-Author Unknown